<< Past 5 years & Future 5 years 来し方行く末おもふ | main | I wanna take the first place! 一番になってみたい! >>

Memories of being loved 愛された記憶

My English tutor as well as my friend who knows too much about me, Haruka-chan likes the story about one of my former boyfriends; the guy who loved me the most.
So I will write about it today.

People like to compare the difference between men and women. Saying, “women keep their memories of love by overwriting, which means women can dump them all, and men keep their girlfriends one by one filing, which means men can love women simultaneously.”

Though I’m a woman, I may keep the memories of one person specially in a private file.

Why did we break up?
Simply because I’d taken it for granted that I was to be loved.
I’d thought that anyone who I went out with were to take care of me properly.

So, when I got hypnotized by another guy, I simply run away from that boyfriend because I thought I was to be loved by new guy, too.
It was just before that boyfriend proposed me.

I was too stupid to have such a self-confidence.

It was one day, the young leaves blooming.
We were walking down a street lined with trees.
Suddenly he said, ”Just don’t move, keep your eyes straight, Masumi.”
Then he said, ”Okay, I’m done.”
I asked him what he did but he just repeated,”It’s Okay.”
So I asked him again and again.
He said finally,
“You got a worm on your shoulder. It’s okay. It’s gone. A small one. But if I had told you, you would’ve got into a panic. Just think about who really wanted to be in a panic, you or the small worm? He must have been shocked when he slipped down from a tree to extremely big Masumi.”

Can memories of being loved remain brighter than memories of loving?
At least, mine can do so.

Are the memories of loving someone too painful, so they fade little by little?
Do the memories of being loved by someone go purified, instead?

Sounds like the lyrics of ‘The Way We Were’, which sang by Babra Streisand.

My memories of being loved always stay in my mind with small regret, and seem to keep cheering me up loving someone again.

私の英語の先生でもあり、私のあんなことやこんなことまでなんでも知ってる’はるかちゃん’が、私の昔の彼氏の話を気に入っているので書いてみることにする

今まで出会った誰よりも私を大事にしてくれた人ね

よく、女の恋愛の記憶は上書き保存、男の恋愛の記憶はフォルダ別保存とかって比較されるけど、この人に関しては女の私も別フォルダに入れてるかもね

なぜ、うまくいかなかったのかって

大切にされるってのが当たり前と思ってたんやね
付き合う人はみんな自分のこと大事にしてくれるもんだと思ってたからね

それで他の人に目移りして、もう、プロポーズされるって直前で逃げた

逃げた先のその人も自分のこと大事にしてくれるって、根拠のない自信やね

ある時、多分若葉の季節だったと思う
2人で並木道の歩道を歩いていたら彼が急に『じっとしてて!』
しばらくして『もういいよ』
訳を訊ねても『もう大丈夫だから』
それでもしつこく聞くとこう答えた

『今ね、マスミさんの肩に毛虫が落ちてきたのね、大丈夫、小さいやつね。だけど、言ったらびっくりして慌てるでしょ。だけどね、本当は毛虫の方がでっかいマスミさんの上に落ちてきてびっくりしてるんだからね』

愛された記憶は愛した記憶より残るものなのかな?
少なくとも私はそうみたい

愛した記憶は辛いから、少しずつ薄まっていくのかな?
愛された記憶は、逆に純化していくのかな?

’The Way We Were (追憶)’の歌詞みたいだな

愛された記憶は、少しの後悔を道連れにいつもそばに寄り添って、また誰かを愛していいんだよと勇気付けてくれてるみたいだな
| 日記 | 16:19 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |
Comment









Trackback
url: http://blog.masumi-jazz.com/trackback/1009555

05
--
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
--
>>
<<
--
Website
Masumi's Website
Profile
New entries
Archives
           
Categories
Albums
 
Recent comment
Mobile
qrcode
Links
Others
無料ブログ作成サービス JUGEM