I wanna take the first place! 一番になってみたい!

Can I start with excuses about why it’s been almost 1 month since I posted the last article?

I’ve just been busy for preparing a recording.
Cause I’ve decided to apply for a major contest for female jazz singers in Japan.

I can’t explain exactly where is the first place for singers, but recently I’ve been thinking that I want to be the best as a singer.

And, the most attractive point about this contest is, as a prize for the winner, they will arrange the opportunity to have a gig at an authentic jazz club in the US.

Sounds fantastic, doesn’t it?

I want to be there and perform as a real jazz singer!

まずは1ヶ月近くもほったらかした言い訳をしないとね

コンテストに提出する音源の準備で忙しかったと
たぶん日本で一番有名なジャズボーカルのコンテストね


何をもって’一番’というかはわからない
でも、シンガーとしてやっぱ一番でありたいなって、ここんとこ、よく考えている

で、今年はコンテストに応募することにした
国内だけどね

すごいのが、優勝するとアメリカの結構すごいライブハウスで演奏させてもらえるんよ!やりたーい!!

ちゃんとしたシンガーとしてアメリカ行って歌ってみたいよ!
| 日記 | 21:25 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

Memories of being loved 愛された記憶

My English tutor as well as my friend who knows too much about me, Haruka-chan likes the story about one of my former boyfriends; the guy who loved me the most.
So I will write about it today.

People like to compare the difference between men and women. Saying, “women keep their memories of love by overwriting, which means women can dump them all, and men keep their girlfriends one by one filing, which means men can love women simultaneously.”

Though I’m a woman, I may keep the memories of one person specially in a private file.

Why did we break up?
Simply because I’d taken it for granted that I was to be loved.
I’d thought that anyone who I went out with were to take care of me properly.

So, when I got hypnotized by another guy, I simply run away from that boyfriend because I thought I was to be loved by new guy, too.
It was just before that boyfriend proposed me.

I was too stupid to have such a self-confidence.

It was one day, the young leaves blooming.
We were walking down a street lined with trees.
Suddenly he said, ”Just don’t move, keep your eyes straight, Masumi.”
Then he said, ”Okay, I’m done.”
I asked him what he did but he just repeated,”It’s Okay.”
So I asked him again and again.
He said finally,
“You got a worm on your shoulder. It’s okay. It’s gone. A small one. But if I had told you, you would’ve got into a panic. Just think about who really wanted to be in a panic, you or the small worm? He must have been shocked when he slipped down from a tree to extremely big Masumi.”

Can memories of being loved remain brighter than memories of loving?
At least, mine can do so.

Are the memories of loving someone too painful, so they fade little by little?
Do the memories of being loved by someone go purified, instead?

Sounds like the lyrics of ‘The Way We Were’, which sang by Babra Streisand.

My memories of being loved always stay in my mind with small regret, and seem to keep cheering me up loving someone again.

私の英語の先生でもあり、私のあんなことやこんなことまでなんでも知ってる’はるかちゃん’が、私の昔の彼氏の話を気に入っているので書いてみることにする

今まで出会った誰よりも私を大事にしてくれた人ね

よく、女の恋愛の記憶は上書き保存、男の恋愛の記憶はフォルダ別保存とかって比較されるけど、この人に関しては女の私も別フォルダに入れてるかもね

なぜ、うまくいかなかったのかって

大切にされるってのが当たり前と思ってたんやね
付き合う人はみんな自分のこと大事にしてくれるもんだと思ってたからね

それで他の人に目移りして、もう、プロポーズされるって直前で逃げた

逃げた先のその人も自分のこと大事にしてくれるって、根拠のない自信やね

ある時、多分若葉の季節だったと思う
2人で並木道の歩道を歩いていたら彼が急に『じっとしてて!』
しばらくして『もういいよ』
訳を訊ねても『もう大丈夫だから』
それでもしつこく聞くとこう答えた

『今ね、マスミさんの肩に毛虫が落ちてきたのね、大丈夫、小さいやつね。だけど、言ったらびっくりして慌てるでしょ。だけどね、本当は毛虫の方がでっかいマスミさんの上に落ちてきてびっくりしてるんだからね』

愛された記憶は愛した記憶より残るものなのかな?
少なくとも私はそうみたい

愛した記憶は辛いから、少しずつ薄まっていくのかな?
愛された記憶は、逆に純化していくのかな?

’The Way We Were (追憶)’の歌詞みたいだな

愛された記憶は、少しの後悔を道連れにいつもそばに寄り添って、また誰かを愛していいんだよと勇気付けてくれてるみたいだな
| 日記 | 16:19 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

Past 5 years & Future 5 years 来し方行く末おもふ

It’s been almost 5 years since I started to work at Stella.
Since then, I’ve been singing with playing the piano all by myself for 6 days a week usually.

At the beginning, I was so nervous cause I didn't know how to communicate with customers.
Moreover, I was so frustrated with the lack of my piano skill.

But now, as a singer/pianist, I feel I’m the one who sung the most in this 5 years at least in Fukuoka, maybe around Kyushu.
I’ve been keeping on singing day after day anyway.
That’s my pride.

These days, I started to think about my future in 5 years.

To tell the truth, I have a quite vivid image of my future.
Or I could say I just started to realize it.

However, I have a lot to do for turning it into reality in next 5 years.
Wish me luck!

ステラで働くようになってもうすぐ5年
週6日、ピアノ弾き語りを続けさせてもらってる

時々、初めの頃のことを思い出す
いつも胃がキリキリしてたな
お客さんとどう接していいかわからないし、ピアノもできないし

でも今、一応、シンガー・ピアニストと自称させてもらってる
多分、この5年間で一番たくさん歌ってるのは私だろう
少なくとも福岡では。もしかしたら、九州でも。
これは私のプライドやね

最近、ふと5年後のことなんか考えてみたりする
将来については結構はっきりイメージを持っている
というか、前から思ってたけど、そのことをより認識するようになったというか…

だけどもちろん、実現するにはいっぱいやることがあるんだよな
頑張らないとね
| 日記 | 20:02 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

The things I do at a library 図書館で何してる?

I’ve started to go to the city library sometimes since around the end of last year.
It makes me feel like becoming a bit wiser there.
There seemed to be packed with a lot of students in olden days, nowadays old folks more than students.

Time flies there.
I remember the same feeling while I was studying for exams in my student hood.
My work didn't look like making much progress than I thought.

Now I realize the reason why.
It’s too vast so I walk around instead of settling and studying in one place.

Well, I’d rather have a pedometer.

去年の年末頃から時々図書館を利用している

ちょっとだけ賢くなったような気分に浸る
昔は学生いっぱいいたけど、ま、今はお年寄りの方が多いみたい

時間があっという間に過ぎるんよね
学生の時、試験勉強してる時もそうだったな
その割に捗ってなかったけど

何でかなーってよく考えたら
広すぎてウロウロする時間が多すぎるんやねー

万歩計つけた方がいいかも?
| 日記 | 17:53 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

Before the spring comes 春を待つ間に

At the bottom of the coldness however, the sun gets stronger little by little.
This is the February.

I don’t know why but I can't keep myself settling down at this season of the year.

Like the branches preparing new blossoms for spring, I’m eager to get ready for something new.

I wish the spring will come soon.

I’ve prepared new scores.
I’ve bought a shiny cover of my laptop.
I’ve also changed my glasses.

Oh, I have to remember that I want a new dress.

It looks like my desire only for possessions seems growing up day by day.

2月…
寒さの底にありながら
日に日に昼の時間が長くなっていく今日この頃

毎年のことだけどこの時期は何かソワソワしてしまう

春に向けて木々が新芽を準備するように
何か変わりたいっていう気持ちが強くなるんよね

ハア、早く春こないかなー

譜面を新調してみた
パソコンのカバーを変えてみた
メガネも変えてみた
ワンピースも欲しいなー

なんか、欲しいものがどんどん出てくるんだけど。。。

| 日記 | 17:10 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

Object to Ehou-maki 恵方巻きに物申す

Ehou-Maki, or fortune rice roll, I’d like to object to it.

I like seasonal ceremonies and festivals but wouldn’t it ridiculous to cerebrate a happy new spring only after 1 month from the beginning of the year?

Moreover, Ehou-maki doesn't look romantic…especially when you eat it.

Does anyone know the way of cerebrating coming spring, which is more beautiful and classy?

節分…
1月に新年のお祝いして、1ヶ月後にはもう1回新年のお祝いするみたい
お祝い好きだけどさー
恵方巻きはなんか色気が無いよなー
特に食べるとき…

もうちょっと楚々とした、凛とした節分の迎え方って無いのかしら?
| 日記 | 16:05 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

A disaster or a lesson? 悲劇か教訓か

A horrible night it was.
One of our customers fell asleep then Goro, the master and I couldn't go home.

To tell the truth, we are accustomed to that situations of getting such sleeping customers.
It’s not uncommon.

I know the feeling.
Stella can make you feel relax.
You are probably fighting against something out there.
No one can blame you.

We just left him as he was until we closed the venue.

But he kept sleeping over when we got closed completely.

Now, he was sleeping on the floor in stead of the bar counter, so Goro and I tried to hold him up but we couldn’t.
He looked no longer asleep but almost unconscious.

Then he ended up feeling sick and vomiting while asleep.
It was a disaster!!

It took almost one hour to get him in a taxi.
It really exhausted both two of us.

Even that moment, Goro said gently,
“That man may be going through some difficulties in his life now. He may be lonely. This becomes one of your good experiences. Don’t you think so, Masumi?”

I admit that this is why he is so popular among men, but I thought,
“What are you talking about? That was miserable. I never think I get any lessons from that. I will definitely get angry at his next visit.”

But time goes by, I’m feeling Goro might be right.
That customer is usually polite and hates being someone’s trouble.
He may hold something which he can not express in words.

I just wanna smile and say “Hi, how are you doing?” at his next visit.

大変な夜だった
お客様が寝込んでしまって帰れなくなってしまったのだ

正直、カウンターで器用に眠っちゃうお客様は、まあまあある

ステラ落ち着くもんね
外で戦ってきたんだもんね

閉店までのしばしの間、そっとしておく

でも、その晩はどうやっても起きてくれなかったのだ
ハイスツールからは滑り落ち、今や床に転がってしまったお客さんをマスターと2人がかりでなんとか抱えようとするけれど、あれはもう眠っている、というよりは意識がないと言った方がいいのかもしれない

ついには眠ったままもどしてしまわれて、それらにまみれて大変なことになってしまった

1時間の格闘の末、ヘトヘトになりながらようやくタクシーに乗せることができた

こんな時でもマスターは優しい
あの人は今、寂しいとよ
今夜は勉強になったやろ?
マスターが世間のおじさんたちに愛される理由がそこにあるんだけどね

どこがよ!こんなの勉強にもならん!次、来んしゃった時、私は怒るよってその時は思った

だけどそのあと何日も色々考えてしまって
やっぱマスターが正しいかなって思ってる

いつもは人の迷惑になることを一番嫌っているような、礼儀正しい、ある意味頑固なお客さんだもん
言葉にできないようなどうしようもない気持ち抱えてるんだろうな

次回、笑顔で、もうっ!何しようと!って言おう
| 日記 | 02:53 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

Have fun at a medical check! 検診でも楽しもうよ

I took a screening for breast cancer the other day.
And the result was ‘RETEST’.

I was tumbled and immediately rushed to a hospital for retest.
How slow the moment went through till I got the result again!
And this time, I was okay, ahhh.

I thought much about my whole life seriously during one week.
It was scary, but it was a good experience for me.

Now, I can give one useful advice for women.

If you see a breast doctor, choose a handsome one!
Simply because I hope you want to see him frequently.
And have fun taking a breast cancer test once a year, not to get the worst result.

乳がん検診にひっかかった!

びっくりしてすぐに再検査

その間の時間のゆっくりなこと。。。
結果は問題なしだった
はあ、、、良かった

一週間の間に自分の人生について真剣に考えてしまった
今の私には必要なことだったのかも

ということで女子に1つ、有用なアドバイスができるかも?

乳腺のお医者さんはハンサムに限る!
また会いたくなるように
そして、乳がんの検査を年に一度の楽しみにしてしまおう!
最悪の結果を受け取らないためにもね
| 日記 | 17:12 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

My small resolutions in 2019 今年の抱負

Since I started this blog in two languages, it’s been working good on my mentality.

It looks like when we have two luggages one by one in both arms, it seems to be lighter than one luggage in one arm.

Two languages also look like having different effects on me.
Like I can think deeper in Japanese, and I can express simpler in English.

I feel I’m completed while doing two things simultaneously.

It’s very similar as singing along with playing the piano by myself.
I’ll keep on it this year.

Oh, I have one more!
Is there anyone who is willing to share the luggages with me??

ブログを2つの言葉で書き始めてから、とっても気分が前向きだ

二つの荷物を右手と左手で一個ずつ持つ時、一つの荷物を片手で持つより軽く感じるのと似てるのかな

二つの言葉はそれぞれちょっと違った役割を持ってるみたい
しっかり考えるのは日本語向き、わかりやすく表現するのは英語向き

二つやって、バランス取れる気がする

自分でピアノ弾きながら歌う時ととても似ている

今年はこれを続けると思う

あ、それから、、、
できれば一緒に荷物持ってくれるような人、いないかしら??
| 日記 | 00:13 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

An ‘Otoshi-dama’ for you お年玉をあなたに

At a packed shopping center, I forgot to receive the free stamp for parking.
I wanted to set my car backward from the exit gate, but it was too late.
Soon, I got a line behind me.

I lost extra 800 yen in the end, even at the beginning of the year.

It was kind of an ‘Otoshi-dama’, uhhh~!
You Japanese had a lot of sweet but painful annual payments, お年玉 for your nieces, nephews and relatives during the New Year’s Holliday, didn’t you?
I paid a lot, too….

But this Otoshi-dama for the parking gate was 落とし玉, not お年玉.
As the letter explains, I DROPPED MONEY into the machine.

Sorry for a meaningless Japanese word game like old men do.
I wonder if it’s worth 800 yen….

正月のショッピングセンターで駐車場の無料スタンプをもらい忘れる
駐車場の出口からバックしたかったけど、時すでに遅し

すでに後ろには行列

年の初めから余計な800円を支払う
これも一種のおとし玉だな。。。
毎年、嬉しくも痛い出費やね
ただし、今回のは、落とし玉だけどね

おっさんが言いそうだな
800円分の価値あるかしら?

| 日記 | 00:51 | comments(0) | trackbacks(0) |

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